BREAKING NEWS — A consortium of record companies, event producers, harmonium makers, and chai brewers today announced the establishment of a nonprofit organization that will be responsible for accrediting and regulating kirtan artists from this point forward.
The announcement comes amid growing concern that the practice of call-and-response chanting can induce a rare but rapidly increasing brain disorder called kirtananandanitis, named after the wallah-scientist who discovered it three years ago. (Read our story on the discovery.) The condition, commonly known as “bhav brain,” was the subject of an alert by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control last April after cases were discovered in every town and village. Previously, kirtananandanitis was rarely seen outside of chant festivals, Krishna temples, and kirtan retreats, though there have been clusters of cases in Southern California, Burlington, Vt., and parts of Brooklyn. Officials were alarmed by what they saw as a rapid increase in random cases of bhav brain as the practice of kirtan has spread to living rooms across the country, where people gather in community to chant for free.
A key condition of Bhakti Alliance certification will include how to recognize and address kirtananandanitis. Kirtan wallahs will need to show proof that they have mastered the induction of bhav brain as a condition of accreditation.
The Bhakti Alliance will collect dues and certification fees to support its administrative personnel and fund a marketing campaign to promote the importance of a kirtan wallah being “BA-certified,” but will not provide guidelines for best practices, offer instruction, or enforce its principles.
“Basically, we just want your money,” said Bhakti Alliance CEO Ima Poser.
If you like this, you might also like “10 Signs You Might Be a Kirtan Addict”
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LOL…. Also starting a regulatory committee on the effects of chanting CHEWBACCA 108 times without a professional in the room……funny thing is I actually studied its effects to prove a point… as chanting CHEWBACCA, same harmonium, same melody, phrasing… also reduces blood pressure, increases oxygenation in the blood/brain just like HARE KRISHNA did 108 times…again same harmonium, same melody (just swapped out the words). AND just as profound, both just as deep and with 1-2 beats per minute difference between the each other…… no discernible difference Bhav Brain, Skywalker Brain… as to what was better, more effective, impactful, etc.. so go chant to Chewy too… for some he might symbolically represent all the good vibes Krishna brings to you too!… Ya just don’t know… lol With love and devotion… but I LOVE how kirtan helps you move your bowels!!! AWESOME!