BREAKING NEWS — A consortium of record companies, event producers, harmonium makers, and chai brewers today announced the establishment of a nonprofit organization that will be responsible for accrediting and regulating kirtan artists from this point forward.

The announcement comes amid growing concern that the practice of call-and-response chanting can induce a rare but rapidly increasing brain disorder called kirtananandanitis, named after the wallah-scientist who discovered it three years ago. (Read our story on the discovery.) The condition, commonly known as “bhav brain,” was the subject of an alert by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control last April after cases were discovered in every town and village. Previously, kirtananandanitis was rarely seen outside of chant festivals, Krishna temples, and kirtan retreats, though there have been clusters of cases in Southern California, Burlington, Vt., and parts of Brooklyn.  Officials were alarmed by what they saw as a rapid increase in random cases of bhav brain as the practice of kirtan has spread to living rooms across the country, where people gather in community to chant for free.

A key condition of Bhakti Alliance certification will include how to recognize and address kirtananandanitis.  Kirtan wallahs will need to show proof that they have mastered the induction of bhav brain as a condition of accreditation.

The Bhakti Alliance will collect dues and certification fees to support its administrative personnel and fund a marketing campaign to promote the importance of a kirtan wallah being “BA-certified,” but will not provide guidelines for best practices, offer instruction, or enforce its principles.

“Basically, we just want your money,” said Bhakti Alliance CEO Ima Poser.

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If you like this, you might also like “10 Signs You Might Be a Kirtan Addict”

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It’s true. I, Vrinda, am a kirtan pusher.

I mean, I’m already a self-diagnosed “kirtan addict,” and we’ve established that there are a lot of those out there. I’m okay with that.

But a pusher? Well, this just, ahem, pushes it to a whole different level.

It hit me in the midst of a PM to a friend in Connecticut about a kirtan in a cave that she simply must attend.

My god, I thought. I’m like a kirtan evangelist.

The idea stopped me in my tracks, mostly because I’ve never had much use for evangelists who go about proselytizing their faith to anyone who will listen, and even less use for the Christian fundamentalists who tend to do the proselytizing.  On the other hand, the Revivalists, with their raise-the-roof/Praise-the-Lord church parties, have always fascinated me.  Maybe it’s the memory trace of that one my sister and I attended as adolescents in the little white church up the road from our farm in northeastern Vermont. It was both exhilarating and terrifying.  I had never before experienced that kind of passion for Jesus — of sheer sing-your-heart-out joy and dramatic redeem-thyself theatrics — certainly not in the staid Catholic church my family filed into every Sunday at 10, like clockwork.

Dear Lord, had I become like the fire-and-brimstone preacher up on that little church altar, waving his Bible at the Congregation of trembling souls and enjoining them to experience ecstatic redemption?  Is my call to Come to Kirtan any different than his call to Come to Jesus? Is this why my non-kirtan friends avoid me like the plague?  Suddenly I was on a roller-coaster ride of self-reflection and deep personal inquiry, along with its inevitable bedfellow, self-doubt.

“Jeezh,” my snarky twin interrupted.  “We just thought it would make a funny blog.  Lighten up already, will ya’?”

Oh, right.  [Sound of brakes screeching] Back to those signs.  After great personal exploration and intense research (a 30-second google search), I, Vrinda, have come up with this list of possible symptoms that may indicate that you, too, might be a kirtan pusher.

8 Signs You Might Be a Kirtan Pusher

1. You always know where your next kirtan is.

2. You drive down the road with kirtan blasting, smiling at anyone who notices.

3. When friends come to visit, you introduce them to so-and-so’s new bhakti CD.

4. You spend copious amounts of your “free time” inviting people to kirtans, posting notices about kirtans, organizing kirtans…and oh yeah, attending kirtans.

5. A typical grocery-store encounter starts and/or ends with Radhe! Radhe! or Haribol!

6. You belong to more than 5 kirtan-related groups on facebook.  (This is a dead giveaway).

7. Your kirtan friends are always asking you what’s going on.

8. Your non-kirtan friends stopped asking you what’s going on.

If you recognize any of these symptoms in yourself or others, seek help immediately.

Start by opening your mouth and saying Ommmmmm. Put on Krishna Das. Visit a friend with a harmonium right away. Join The Bhakti Beat’s Chantaholics Anonymous Support Group.  If it gets severe, call the Kirtan Hotline at 1 800 HARIBOL to find out immediately where the nearest wallah is.

Editor’s Note: “I, Vrinda” is a new, occasional first-person series on TheBhaktiBeat.com in which I, Vrinda (aka Brenda Patoine) say what I’m thinking, whether you want to hear it or not.  Call it op-ed, editorialism, commentary, satire — hell, call it whatever you want.  Vrinda is opinionated but open, largely unfiltered, at times irreverent, and sometimes downright sassy (don’t say I didn’t warn you).  She’s pure Gemini, part wise, part wise-ass; the good the bad and the naughty all rolled up into one messy, messed-up, hopelessly imperfect, doing-the-best-she-can kinda’ girl, er, woman. She — I mean, I — may offer two cents or more on subjects from the ironies of the yoga world to the injustices of the corporatocracy,  the ins and outs of the bhakti community, or the ups and downs of internet dating. She/I may even occasionally try to be funny, undoubtedly with mixed results. Vrinda really just wants everyone to wake the f**k up (I warned you).   For more on Vrinda, including why she uses that name, click here on this link…but you’ll have to wait until I get that piece written.

Like what you see here?  Help us keep The Bhakti Beat flowing!  Consider donating today, a one-time contribution or a recurring contribution — any amount is so appreciated and will help us continue to bring you the bhav.  The Bhakti Beat is a labor of love, completely self-funded by Brenda Patoine (moi), who is a freelance neuroscience writer by day.  Every bit helps! THANK YOU! Donate Here.

Scientists have definitively identified, for the first time ever, a rare but rapidly increasing brain disorder affecting the frontal lobes, amygdala and hippocampus of people who regularly chant kirtan.

Publishing in the Journal of Neuroscience and Non-Duality, lead author Baba Bhavakirtanananda, a former saddhu who spent 20 years chanting the Maha Mantra nonstop in a cave near Braj, India, before accepting a research position at the University of Vrindavan, even coined a term for the condition: bhav brain.  Symptoms of bhav brain include markedly decreased attachment to one’s self-identity, blurring of the demarcation between “self” and others, disillusionment with materialistic gain, and reduced anxiety about what the future may bring.  In extreme cases, Bhavakirtanananda said, bhav brain can produce symptoms that can mimic intoxication or drug use, including inexplicable elation, stumbling or aimless wandering, or general “spaciness.”

These symptoms, he said, explain why people who have been chanting for many hours — as is common at kirtan festivals — are sometimes described as “stoned on the bhav.”

The scientists reported that they had also identified a potent neurotransmitter that seems to be expressed in excessive quantities after prolonged chanting, which they have accordingly named bhavatonin.  They found bhavatonin-specific receptors in the hippocampus, where the biochemical seemed to trigger a remembrance of one’s own divine nature, and in the amygdala, where it apparently tamped down fearful reactions and anxiety.

Long History in India, But New to the West

Historical documents suggest that bhav brain has been around since at least the 15th century; there are oblique references to the symptoms in sacred texts in the vedic traditions and in the works of so-called bhakti poets like Hafiz and Mirabai.  But the syndrome of symptoms has only recently been observed in the West — first in an area of New York’s Hudson Valley known as the Bhajan Belt, and then in Southern California, especially around the town of Joshua Tree.  More recent evidence suggests the condition is spreading — last summer there was a flurry of reports from Madison, Wisc. of chanters driving in circles, heading in the wrong direction on the highway, and unable to use simple machines like gas pumps.  The geographic and temporal distribution of these reports is closely associated with large-scale chant festivals.

That’s no coincidence, says Bhavakirtanananda.  He said he had long suspected there was a signature biological “fingerprint” associated with the syndrome, and was frustrated that no serious scientist had attempted to investigate it.  So he took it upon himself, first investigating it in a pilot study at India’s legendary Kumbh Mela festival before traveling all the way to Southern California to study attendees at a 4-day festival where the chanting was virtually nonstop.  His team recruited 100 men and women ranging in age from 16 to 97 (median age 39), and conducted functional MRI scans before, during and after the festival.

Prevalence is Rapidly Increasing

In the article, the authors noted that the prevalence of the condition — virtually unknown in the West until recent years — has been rapidly increasing in step with the growing popularity and “mainstreaming” of bhakti yoga, an obscure form of yoga from 15th century India that eschews the Western yoga world’s fixation on having a really great butt in favor of an emphasis on loving devotion and seva, or selfless service.

Reactions from the bhakti community have been mixed.  Kirtan musician Dave Stringananda said he was not surprised.  “I’ve been fascinated for years by how chanting might be affecting neurotransmitters like anandamine and serotonin, so the idea that there is a brain chemical called bhavatonin that is specifically ramped up by kirtan makes so much sense.  I am elated.” Stringananda immmediately set to work incorporating the findings into a new workshop series.

Skepticism in the Bhajan Belt

In Woodstock, N.Y. in the heart of the Bhajan Belt, long-time kirtan wallah Sri Sri Ramanananda dismissed the findings as overhyped hogwash.  “Symptoms of a disorder?  Pshaw! Here in Woodstock, these kinds of behaviors are as common as peacocks in Vrindavan,” he said.  “If ‘bhav brain’ is a disease, then I’m a monkey-god’s uncle.”

The Bhakti Beat asked the members of the popular ensemble band The Hanumen, fresh off a regional tour that included stops at a prison and a psychiatric treatment facility, to comment on the research, but a spokesperson said the band was covered in mud on a beach somewhere and couldn’t be reached.

The Chant and Chill Foundation issued a statement praising the research as an important step forward in understanding what’s going on in the brain of a bhakta:  “This continues to be one of the deepest mysteries of the universe — just look at those Hanumen.  We are delighted to see that someone is finally putting some real effort into it.” The foundation plans to start a campaign encouraging hard-core bhaktas to donate their brains to research in hopes of advancing scientific knowledge about bhav brain.

Stay tuned to TheBhaktiBeat.com for more on this developing story.  Because no one knows bhav brain like we do…

If you like this, you might also like “10 Signs You Might Be a Kirtan Addict”

The Bhakti Beat needs your support!  We are non-commercial and not-for-profit,  a free service to the bhakti community that is completely self-funded save for the loving contributions of Bhakti Beaters like you.  Your support is critical — please share the Beat with your bhakti peeps, connect with us on social media (links below), and consider a one-time or recurring donation (DONATE HERE) to help us keep this bhav boat afloat.  Thank you from the bottom of our bhav brain. In loving service...

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Dear Lord, kindly engage me in your service.